Today’s guest blog is from Busylizzy member Tara Wavre – Mummy to Beth (12 months). Busylizzy asked her to try and put down in words what it was like in those first few months of becoming a mother.
Becoming a Mum is a huge, life changing thing. Whilst you’re pregnant you’ll hear every mother’s opinion on what life has been like for them, but the truth is it will be different for everyone, because everyone and every baby is different. So I thought rather than tell you how magical, emotional, hard, rewarding, exhausting and wonderful it is (oh look, I just did!) I’d list a few of the things I’ve learnt in the past year.
Take help when offered. In the first few weeks especially, when you’re still figuring it all out and you’re exhausted and constantly have vomit on your shoulder, if someone says ‘ let me come and bring you food/ clean your house/ hold your baby whilst you have a shower’ just say yes! It is amazing how much easier it is to focus on your baby if you’re not stressing about anything else. My parents and mother in law were superstars in those first few months and I was able to be a better mum because of it.
No one will do it for you. Conversely from the above, you’ll get a lot of help but no one else will mother your child for you. It’s up to you to be the expert on your child, aware of all their little quirks and there can’t be anything you do not know. I know this sounds obvious but it came as a shock when it really truly hit me.
Some mums will be more capable than you. I go to lots of Busylizzy baby classes. Often I will get there late, with porridge down my leg, hair in disarray and dribble on my top (Beth’s not mine!) I sometimes look around and see perfectly made up mums dressed immaculately, clearly having just come from the hairdressers after a quick mani-pedi. But Beth is just as happy as that wonder-mum’s baby, she is having as much fun and is well looked after. I’ve had to learn that it’s ok to be ‘not as capable’ as long as Beth is happy.
I don’t know how people parented without the internet. While I was still up in the night with Beth, I was able to order the weeks shopping online, some more nappies off Amazon and go on mumsnet for moral support and get answers for anything I was worried about instantly. I told this to my mum who responded with ‘I had a book’. She had to do all the shopping with her colicky child (me) in tow, if she panicked in the night because I did something she couldn’t go online and find out that all babies do it. I’m pretty glad we have the internet.
You will know nothing about current events. Unless you’re one of these capable mums I mentioned above. I know that obviously some newsworthy events have happened since last October, I just don’t know what they are. However I can tell you all about baby wearing, sleep cycles and the pros and cons of switching to cow’s milk after age 1.
There are lots more things I’ve learnt and I’m sure I will continue to learn. It really has been the best year I’ve ever had, getting to know my little Beth (who is obviously the best, funniest, most talented baby in the world – as I’m sure your baby is as well!) It was her birthday on Monday and I had planned a beautiful celebration, but she had an ear infection so it was cancelled and we are left with lots of cake. Which I suppose is the most recent thing I’ve learnt, you can’t plan anything with any certainty once you’ve got children, but at least there is cake!!.
By Victoria Richardson - Busylizzy
Busylizzy is a family members club offering baby, toddler and mummy fitness classes